Chapter 18: Tobirama Awakened inner peace
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"Uncle, why are you sitting here? What are you thinking? Why are you just staring at the river?" Arata asked as he looked at Tobirama.
He didn't want to ask directly, "How does it feel to lose your son and have him raised by someone else?" That would be too cruel. He couldn't just say it to his uncle's face.
Tobirama sighed. "Nothing," he said. "I'm just thinking."
"Aren't there negotiations between the Uchiha and Senju soon?" Arata asked.
"Yes," Tobirama replied. "I was thinking about that. How we should proceed… how to ensure the safety of our clan."
He looked at his nephew.
Tobirama had always thought Arata was more mature than Hashirama. He still didn't understand how his foolish brother could have such an intelligent and sharp-minded son.
"Oh, is that so?" Arata said, even though he knew the real reason. "Then come with us tomorrow. There won't be a problem. Even if war breaks out, I'll help you. And the Senju clan can rely on my Wood Style to fight the Uchiha."
He looked at his uncle and thought, "Why are you lying to me, Uncle? I know how much pain you're in."
Tobirama nodded. "I'm not worried about your strength, Arata. I know you're strong, more than capable of handling yourself. I was just thinking about everything… that's all." He was clearly trying to brush off the topic.
Arata narrowed his eyes. "Uncle, I've never seen you this sad before."
"No, no, I'm not sad, Arata. See? I'm smiling," Tobirama said, forcing a fake smile.
Arata sighed. "Uncle, I asked my father… he told me about you."
Tobirama's expression stiffened. "Oh? So you know…?"
Arata nodded. "I've never seen you and her together much. I know what happened. Father told me everything. But, Uncle… it wasn't something she could control. She was a victim, right? She loved you… deep inside, she still does."
Tobirama remained silent.
"You could at least give her a chance," Arata said softly.
Tobirama's body stiffened. His hands trembled slightly. He didn't respond.
Arata continued. "Uncle, you once told me that love is painful, right? That when someone isn't around, it hurts. That feeling of helplessness… it's unbearable, isn't it? So what do you think we should do? Should we ignore her and make her suffer more? Or should we protect her and make sure she never feels that way again?"
Tobirama clenched his fists.
Arata had learned about his aunt's situation. She was kidnapped on her wedding day—a day that was supposed to be the happiest of her life. It was taken from her. Even though she wasn't physically harmed, in the eyes of this era, she was considered impure.
The clan elders didn't believe her when she denied being defiled. According to them, just being in enemy hands was enough to stain her honor. People made cruel decisions based on those beliefs.
Tobirama could have divorced her—taken her to the temple and officially ended everything. In this era, it was that simple.
But thanks to Hashirama, he didn't. They were still together… but not truly. There was still distance between them.
"Uncle… you know what I mean, don't you?" Arata asked.
Tobirama wasn't a fool. He understood what his nephew was trying to say.
Arata sighed. "You're both fools."
Both of them were suffering. They were hurting each other even more by avoiding the truth. What happened had already happened. The only thing left was to face it.
"We can't run away forever. That would be cowardly. Right, Uncle?"
At the word "coward," something inside Tobirama shifted.
His head lowered, and he muttered to himself, "Yes… only a coward avoids the truth."
Arata's words echoed in his mind.
"If you truly love someone, you don't abandon them when they're scared. She didn't ask for this. She was forced into it. It wasn't her fault."
Arata looked at him. "Uncle, if you know something is wrong, then you also know why it happened. And if you know why… then you can choose to fix it."
Tobirama remained silent, but his heart felt lighter.
For the first time in years, he felt like someone truly understood him.
Someone knew his pain.
He let out a deep sigh.
The illusion he had built—the illusion that he was strong, that he had no regrets—was starting to crack.
Because deep inside, he wasn't as strong as he pretended to be.
Deep inside, he was still that helpless boy.
A boy who had only learned to act brave… because the world gave him no other choice.
It wasn't her fault.
Helplessness.
Cowardice.
Tobirama was stunned. He felt like he was trapped inside his own thoughts. His nephew's words kept echoing in his mind.
"It's not her fault… it's really not her fault… but why? Why can't I get over this?" He wasn't afraid of battle. He was a shinobi. Then why was he afraid of this?
"Am I really a coward?" The thought hit him like a blade to the chest. Tobirama clenched his fists as his mind spiraled.
"Shizuka… I'm sorry. I've been weak-minded. I was wrong… completely wrong… Why? Why is this happening to me?"
Then, the answer came.
War.
"It's this damn war."
Because of war, his brothers had died, manipulated by their father's ideals. Because of war, even his wife, Shizuka, couldn't escape its cruel grasp.
"Why… why me?"
His breathing grew heavy.
"I will end this chaos. This war. That's right. It's war's fault. If I want true revenge, I must destroy it. I must defeat war itself!"
For half an hour, Arata sat beside his uncle, watching him struggle with his emotions.
He could see it.
Tobirama was trembling, mumbling to himself, lost in thought. His whole body was shaking. He was muttering about "leading the world to true peace." But peace… peace would threaten the interests of the powerful. And if that happened, Tobirama would become the greatest enemy of the world.
"That's just how people think," Arata thought. "Unless someone greater—someone with absolute power—forces them to change."
But absolute power had never truly existed. No one believed there was anyone stronger than them. Just like how, in the future, the Akatsuki would be manipulated by Obito. Obito, in turn, would be manipulated by Madara. Madara was being used by Zetsu. And Zetsu was merely the will of Kaguya. And even Kaguya wasn't the strongest. There were beings beyond her—Isshiki, Momoshiki. and even they weren't in the end because of Existence of Shibai Otsutsuki .
"Maybe there's someone even stronger than them," Arata thought.
Then suddenly, his uncle stood up.As Tobirama looked straight at Arata.
"Arata… thank you. You opened my eyes this time," Tobirama said.
He had figured it out. Yes,
It was never Shizuka's fault.
It was the war.
If he kept blaming Shizuka, then he truly would be a coward—just like Arata had said. She didn't need to be blamed . She needed care. She needed love. If she didn't get it now, she might break. She might sink into depression.
Just like his mother had…
Tobirama remembered.
His mother had watched his brothers die, one after another. And in the end, she grew weaker, lost the will to eat, and slowly he watched her faded away. He had also seen the regret in his father's eyes.
Back then, he hadn't understood it.
But now… now everything made sense.