Rizz Taoist Master [A Reverend Insanity Fanfiction]

After grabbing the moon orchid petals, Fang Yuan hit up the inn for some green bamboo wine. The Liquor worm could survive on cheaper booze, but it'd need way more, like, multiple jars daily. Green bamboo wine was the better deal, less suspicious, too.

"Young sir, you're here!" The inn staff recognized Fang Yuan and his new business partner. He slid three skibidi stones across the counter. "A jar of green bamboo wine, and some good eats. Anything more, take it out of my business earnings. We'll settle up at the end of the month, take it out of a stone."

Even though Fang Yuan was dorming at the academy now, he still came to the inn for wine and meals.

"Got it, young sir. Have a seat, food's coming right up." The staffer wiped down a table and bounced. The food arrived fast.

Fang Yuan ate and crunched numbers. "One stone gets me ten petals. Moonlight Gu eats four petals daily. Green bamboo wine, two stones a jar, lasts four days. Basically, I'm blowing almost a stone a day on Gu food."

It didn't sound like much, but it was expensive. A mortal family of three's monthly expenses were just one stone. Sixteen days since Gu refining, and Fang Yuan had already spent fourteen and a half stones just on feeding them.

"Flower Wine treasure, Fang Zheng's loot, first-place prize, I peaked at 44.5 stones, no cap. Then, early crafting fails ate 6.5, Gu food drain was 14.5, living expenses were 0.5. I should be sitting on 20 stones, right?"

Fang Yuan checked his coin purse, basically his inventory. Greyish-white, egg-shaped stones, like rare collectibles.

He counted 20. Half a month's worth of supplies. Unlike his peers, who had family handouts (Mo Bei, Chi Cheng, basically whales), Fang Yuan was a solo grinder.

The business from the Neko Maid cafe was doing alright until the Heavenly Court yeeted all footage of Femoid Zi Wei's panty flash using a Gu worm, now, he couldn't rely on that. 

"Uncle and Aunt went ghost. The academy drops 3 stones weekly, basically a welfare check. I gotta clutch that moonblade assessment in three days, snag those 10 stones, that's the only way to not go bankrupt." Fang Yuan chewed on the beesechurger, calculating his next move. Maybe the business would do better in the future, but he couldn't be sure of that. 

He'd finished his meal without even noticing, basically autopilot mode.

Grabbing the sealed wine jar, Fang Yuan dipped from the inn, like he was leaving a low-level area.

"Yo, young sir, young sir!" The inn worker sprinted after Fang Yuan, like he was chasing a limited-time drop. "Just a heads-up, the trade bros are rolling in, like, next month. They always swipe our green bamboo wine, it's their fave. You're a regular and a business partner, so the innkeeper said to let you know. We're running low, and after the sale, we'll be basically dry."

"Oh, word?" Fang Yuan frowned, giving off that "this is a problem" vibe. With his 500 years of experience, he could sniff out BS from a mile away. He knew the difference between Jiang Ya's sales pitch and the worker's straight-up info dump.

This was a major L. Fang Yuan needed green bamboo wine for his Liquor worm, like, a LOT. If the inn went out of stock, he'd be stuck with the cheap stuff, needing like, a million jars.

Drinking a whole case a day was sus AF. Fang Yuan pulled out ten stones, like he was about to make a bulk purchase. "I'll grab five more jars, then. Help me haul them to my dorm at the academy."

"Bet, young sir!" The worker snatched the stones, like he'd just won a giveaway.

Moon orchid petals were perishable, basically a five-day shelf life, so Fang Yuan bought them in small batches. Green bamboo wine, though? That stuff was basically immortal, no storage issues.

The inn workers hauled the wine to Fang Yuan's dorm, shoved it under his bed like a secret stash, and bounced. Fang Yuan sighed, his money pouch looking flatter than a pancake.

Rizzing Gu is a grind, but raising them? That's a whole other level of upkeep.

He had 500 years of experience, so he wasn't wasting mana practicing his Gu moves, basically saving on microtransactions.

His peers were burning through mana practicing their Moonlight Gu combos, needing skibidi stones to refill their bars. Grass dummies were 3 stones, a whole loot box. It was a money sink.

"Thank god my Spring Autumn Cicada just snacks time itself. Otherwise, I'd be bankrupt, no cap." Fang Yuan felt like he'd dodged a speeding ticket.

The higher the Gu's rarity, the higher the food costs or the rarer the ingredients, making them a pain to maintain. A Rank 2 Gu could drain 1-2 stones a day, basically a subscription fee.

If the food was buyable, that was a W. Some Gu needed rare, non-marketable stuff, like crafting materials from a limited-time event.

Like the Spring Autumn Cicada's time feed, basically a legendary resource. "An inch of gold can't buy an inch of time," facts.

Money can't buy time, that's a hard truth.

In theory, a Gu Master could craft infinite Gu, basically a hoarder simulator. Ten, a hundred, a thousand, go wild.

In reality, most Gu Masters were rocking 4-5, basically a balanced loadout.

he main issue? Cost.

High-grade Gu meant high-grade food, a financial nightmare for Gu Masters.

Another problem? Usability.

A single moonblade attack drained 10% primeval essence. A C-grade talent could only launch three or four attacks.

Why raise Gu you can't use?

Hence, the saying: "Raising a Gu is like raising Pokemon."

You could only have six Pokemon at a time, only in this world you couldn't box them and there was no easy Pokemon Home service. 

Even if you could rizz 'em all, what was the point?

Even if you could, you can't use them all. Just for show? Pokemon Masters could only use six Pokemon in battle, Gu masters were pretty much the same. 

As a Gu Master's rank increases, so does their Gu's food standard. So, forget unlimited Gu. Most keep four or five of their level.

More than that? Bankruptcy.