Buffy SI (OP MC)

Driving down route 12 on my way home from grocery shopping, just enjoying the ride and the tunes playing over the radio, zoning out just a little bit as I hit a place of inner peace that only comes when I'm behind the wheel of a car.

Suddenly my phone starts going nuts, causing me to release a soft sigh, as I reach into the cubby in front of the drive selector and swipe the answer button.

'I should try harder to get the wireless connected…' I internally groan at my failure…in connecting the Bluetooth every time I have attempted to connect the phone to the car the car has thoroughly defeated me.

Just as I do manage to answer the call I feel something impacting the passenger side of my suuuped up BMW 335D.

Sounds of shattering glass and the crumpling of metal ring in my ears as I'm pelted by pieces of glass…and something heavy from my backseat hits me in the head knocking me out…and there's this seamless sensation as if I'm being pulled to sleep.

Fluttering open my eyes, I find myself sitting in a chair behind a desk that has a laptop computer sitting on top of said desk with its lid open.

'What, where am I?' I ask myself as I wake up sitting in a comfy chair in front of a computer.

'Seriously…what the fuck…did I dream about the car accident? And sleep walk again?…no it's winter time back home and the temperature has been fluctuating between 6 and 27 degrees fahrenheit…if I had slept walked in those kinda temps, I would have frozen to death while asleep…' as I question myself I have a remembrance of a…bizarrely vivid dream of a man with two faces one kinda demonic with goat horns…and the other handsome…almost angelic…and the woman…who was really pretty but kinda reminded me of Alien X…they were wearing togas…while dragging me through a long black tunnel…with a white light at the end the whole time they dragged me, they were giggling, shushing each other...like a couple of drunk kids sneaking home at 4am trying to be quiet…

'Now…that I think about it…I do kinda feel like I did that time I got my foot caught in a stir up and was dragged through the pasture by lightning McQueen…my horse named after the main character from Car's…everything itches…like that time too it even feels like ants are walking on my scalp.'

Memories of getting in a car accident flash through my mind, and a conversation that I was privy to but not a part of, "Come on Janus, it'll be fun…screw those alien leeches that claim to be The Powers That Be, just open the door and I'll cause the chaos by putting him in play…" A woman drunkenly giggles while trying to sound seductive, imploring and…serious.

'Janus where…have I heard that name before?' "Fine Eris, but this is totally your idea!" Janus hiccups and giggles while I feel strong hands gripping my ankles.

Shaking away that extra bit of memories that give me a bit of an explanation on how I got here.

"So Mr.Computer in this strange white place that is most likely the afterlife…What, is your purpose here?!" I ask the intimate object, as I extend my right hand forward reaching out, I press down on the power button with my forefinger which makes the computer whirr to life.

[Please select your world…]

[Error…World already selected…Buffy The Vampire Slayer has been selected…]

"What is this shit…real…right now?!" I whisper my question in a soft voice, as once the laptop computer powers up it shows me a text box and a list, while asking me to select a world while providing me a small list of worlds to pick from, only to tell me that I can't pick the world.

'Buffy…kinda wish it was Charmed...that I was going to, the original Charmed series, not that atrocity The CW made…' I internally express…on being forced to go to the Buffyverse.

The first window closes and a new window opens, which asks me to select two cheats.

[Please select your two cheats]

-Instant mastery

-Blood manipulation

-Grand Theft Auto System

-Mind Control

-Rift Opening

-Ultimate Magic System

-Random ArchDemon Physiology

-Weaver of Spells (An Intuitive ability to create and use your own magic spells, regardless of world/universal laws and your own knowledge, as this ability mainly goes off of intent.)

-The Spotted Dimension & The Powers of the Spot

-Sign in System

-Wolverine's Healing Factor

-The Charms of Bezel (soul bound)

-Archamada Book of Magic (soul bound)

-The Omnitrix

-Pure Talent

-Original Vampire

-Original Werewolf

-Perfected Mirakuru (Arrow)

-Original Heretic Physiology

"Okay, let's think here if I stay human…the charms of Bezel, Weaver of Spells and Wolverine's healing factor are prime choices…with Original Heretic Physiology a runner up especially combined with the Weaver Of Spells…an original heretic's main weaknesses being a specific rare wood that can be used in a variety of ways…and then there's vervain…plus magic but everything is pretty much weak to magic…though it'd take something extremely powerful…and that's a given that I can't just absorb the energy of and use it for myself."

'If I really want to be a vampire though I could use the spell that restores souls…get the Gem or Ring of Amara whatever it's called…there are also magic using Vampires in Buffy…'

'But Soul…bound items are probably the best route in a universe with meddling extra-dimensional beings and their lackeys that like to fuck your ass ten times a day, yeah I'm looking at you Whistler…'

After a good hour of going back and forth on the pro's and con's of my options, I settle on The Charms of Bezel and the Archamada Book of Magic.

After selecting my choices, my head starts pounding and my vision blurs…and I wake up to the sound of air brake disengaging.

Opening my eyes I see the sun just beginning to rise into the sky, casting a gentle but strengthening glow over the small town of Sunnydale, I can tell that I'm sitting inside one of those three walked bus stops, Looking to my left then my right I see no one but some early morning commuters on the road either heading to our from work or on their ways to wherever…and a sign that says Sunnydale High…a bit ways down the sidewalk, and steps leading up to the campus.

Standing up I move over to the reflective band of chrome that encases an advertisement for trojan condoms…my hands unconsciously coming up to my face, "Holy Fucking Shit, I look fucking gorgeous!" I express vainly as I admire my handsome looks, continuing to admire myself I run my hands along my body,

'I can't believe I'm wearing a mesh T-shirt…' I internally groan before looking downwards seeing and feeling my new body that feels like it should belong to an elite MMA fighter that is well endowed.

My build is sturdy..and built for fighting I'm still my full height which is six foot two inches, broad shouldered…built like a brick shit house.

My face is slightly hidden under long, thick curly black hair that has natural coppery red highlights running throughout it, my face is clean shaven, luckily my hair isn't reaching ponytail level but is brushing the nape of my neck.

As for my face while it's a face that looks like mine, my eyes, my nose but with the fat gone…I look like the love child of Tom Welling and Ian Smolehander, and just being all around better looking than the two without being airbrushed and roided, my eyes are a hazel that are a dark green, but also had a honey gold color to them with a sunburst around the retina with a dark gray ring containing all of that color.

'I definitely shouldn't…have any problems getting in Buffy's pants being this handsome…though…I could do without being a teenager again…' I express in my mind while smirking at myself in my reflection, before looking down at the ground to find an old beat up…maybe world war two army green shoulder/messenger bag on the ground.

Picking up the bag from the ground, I find a worn brown leather jacket like the one Dean Winchester wore for a time in supernatural and a sleeve like the one future Gwen has in the original continuity of Ben 10 with the 6 Charms of Bezel fitted on it…along with a stuffed full/puffed up manila document folder/envelope thing, opening it I find all my necessary documents…and probably ten grand in cash, all fresh crisp hundreds in a bank band…and finally a spell book.

Pulling on the nice thought worn leather jacket, and slinging the messenger bag over my neck I take in a deep breath, the faint scent of the ocean mixing with the faint airiness of the desert, combined with the smells and sounds of a city with a hint of forest in the background…but the most powerful smell that seems to surround Sunnydale…is death/decay.

'How can I smell all of that…you know what, I don't want to know…This is the beginning of my first great adventure…' I internally cheer, and look down at the red Keystone that rests in the middle of the back of my hand…though now it looks like I have a tattoo sleeve…and not like I'm wearing a piece of fabric with magical relics molded to it brushing my left hand over the back of my right hand all I feel is flesh pinching the skin directly in the middle of the charm…it just feels like it does when pinching normal skin.

"Neat…" I murmur as I watch cars pull into the school's parking lot…along with a big yellow school bus...full of kids, I release a sigh at remembering the school transcripts, and transfer papers that were in the manila folder…binder thing…there's just one incy wincy monkey wrench…in my new life of adventure danger and blood suckingness…and that is that I'm a Harris, as in alcoholic, abusive, neglectful parents with a little brother named Xander…that is around a year and a half younger than me…but I ran away from home at 14 fell in with a rough crowd of magic users, and then got hooked up with a hot goth mommy vampire chick…named Drusilla…then her on and off again jealous boyfriend Spike and her got together they stole my wheels and…that's not the worst of it good old Spikey killed me…while Drusilla…she put me on a bus to Sunnydale all the while giggling crazily muttering something about Miss Edith needs a body for her present to the world, now…I'm here in the place that my predecessor swore never to return to.

"Fuck…" I groan and grab my spell book out of my bag with the intent to read some of it, while I begin walking to the Sunnydale Motor Inn…as if my memory serves me correctly it's only eighteen dollars a day…and even with the risk of leeches breaking in to eat me it's better than going home to that shit hole of pain and suffering.

There's one spell on the front page…of the Archamada book of spells and the rest of the pages are blank…clean pages of papyrus.

"Okay…" I murmur and start reading the spell, though I don't know the language it's written in and my voice becomes guttural and suddenly years as a demon god emperor king that rules over a hell dimension that looks straight out of an anime floods my mind…my actions are sometimes atrocious by my moral standards, others down right saintly but one thing stays the same…I am Bezel the Demon Emperor…god…like Glorificus, who was reborn as Merlin, a dragon and so on…until now…

I stop dead in my tracks as a mint four door black Chevrolet Impala in a used car lot draws my attention…it's price is nine hundred and ninety nine dollars.

"Yup buying that right frickin now!" I murmur in excitement while already stuffing my hand in my bag and walking towards the sales office/showroom that looks like it was a diner in the 50's.

"Hi, I'd like to find out how firm the price is on that 67 Impala." I say to the only person in the dealership.

"A grand, no haggling that also includes taxes and DMV fee-" before the middle aged rotund balding man wearing a toupee can finish I smack ten 100 hundred dollar bills down in front of him.

"I mean fifteen hundred…"

"Fuck off and get everything in order." I growl and lightning starts to dance around my body, the man's eyes widen in fear and he nods his head rapidly up and down, 'Oh…that's handy…'

Five minutes later finds me cruising around Sunnydale, with Carry On blaring through the stereo.

Stopping at a gas station to fill up as of course that fat cunt couldn't top off the tank for me, heading inside I comb the aisles and stock up and snakage and some toiletries, 'I love these quickie marts…and the prices god it makes me sick seeing how much more expensive shit is in 2025 compared to…what was the year again 1997.'

'I should probably be worried about the implications that I'm a reincarnated hell deity that had such immense magical power that he was able to cast a reincarnation spell on himself…'

"Hello, is this everything?" A mildly attractive auburn haired woman in her mid thirties asks.

"Hmm, get me a pack of cowboy killers and a lighter…please oh and I'd like to prepay for…fifty 50 dollars on highest grade gasoline in the classic car blend at that special pump out there."

"Of course sir, but are you sure you need that much gas? It is only a dollar, nine a gallon." The woman points out helpfully, as she grabs me a pack of Marlboro red 100's, and then hovers her hand over a display of Bic lighters, her hand hovering over a pink one before looking back at me and grabbing a black one with a red skull on it.

"I'm sure, you can keep the change if I don't use it all…"

"Thank you, you're such a sweet young man, I wish more customers were like you." I smile at the woman as she tallies up my total and fork over the cash.

'God, I've missed plastic bags!' I internally sigh as I set my supplies down in the back seat except for my smokes and lighter.

Leaning my back against the trunk of my car as I click the gas pump lever lock in place, and start packing my pack of smokes in preparation of sparking one up, when a Green Jeep Cherokee pulls up in front of me.

My mouth hanging open slightly as it is Buffy and Joyce summers in the car, quickly unwrapping my pack of smokes, my hand shaking as I barely manage to hold a cig as I raise my hand to my lips, completely forgetting about my lighter in my pocket I tap the tip of my finger against the end of the cigarette a small sick of flame on my fore finger ignites my smoke.

'Yup, I'm definitely in the Buffyverse…fuck my life, and no that's not an invitation.'

I try to look anywhere but at Joyce and Buffy Summers, just minding my own business pumping gas, smoking my cig while AC/DC highway to hell plays at a much lower volume than Carry On did while I was driving around.

Joyce keeps turning her head to glare at me while filling up her green jeep Cherokee while Buffy sits inside of the cab her mother's jeep having a jam session to a pop song.

"Take a picture, Blondie, it'll last longa." I reply to Joyce as the pump clicks off.

"Why I!" Joyce makes an offended humph as she finishes fueling her jeep and walks into the gas station to pay for the gas she just pumped into her vehicle…my eyes…temporarily gluing to her ass…as she walks away.

'Wish I had a camera…that's definitely an ass worthy of a Picturrrr…wait bad Shane, Damon…that is Joyce Buffy's mom…I think I probably ought to get to school…not that I feel like I need to go I could probably just forget a diploma…but history might be different in this world…' With those thoughts I finish fueling up my sexy baby and begin the drive to Sunnydale high.

Pulling into the school parking lot radio blaring windows down cig hanging out of my mouth, the epitome of 90's cool bad boy.

"Oh my god, Xander…it's…" I hear Willow shout as I get out of my baby cigarette hanging from the corner of my mouth, a lopsided smirk on my face as a little redhead blur crashes into my chest…

'Wait…why does Willow look like Katherine McNamara…instead of…you know what…I'm putting this in the win category…aww the way she's wrinkling her nose from the smell of the cig is cute.'

"Hey Wills, you've gotten really pretty since the last time I saw you…"

"Wha-me?!" Willow asks me in a dazed disbelieving gasp as she turns a concerning shade of red.

"Mmmhmm, you…boop." I reply to Willow and boop her on the nose, making her release a series of shy giggles.

"Da-mon, Damon…wha-whats happenin?" Xander asks me as he walks up behind Willow, an uncertainty filled expression on his face.

"Hey Xander…" I greet him awkwardly as memories of my predecessor and the guilt he felt for abandoning his precious little brother to those abusive assholes hits me kinda hard.

"Man, I missed you so much." Xan-man says his voice cracking as I'm enclosed in a three way hug.

"I missed you too little brother, I'm sorry I left you alone with those animals." I apologize to Xander and mean it.

Xander makes a choking sob of a sound, "I know and I don't blame you…they always were harder on you than me…" Xander murmurs and I can tell that he's crying, I reach behind me into the car and grab out a particular box.

"Here have some Twinkies…" I offer a box of Twinkies to Xander and Willow instantly making Xander happy and Willow look at me like I was betraying her or something.

Flashes of memories informing me of Willow hating Twinkies but loving Swiss Rolls pops into my mind, "Hey don't give me those puppy dog eyes." I joke to Willow whose eyes are watery as she looks up and me once Xander takes the Twinkies I reach back into the car and grab out a box of Swiss Rolls and being from the gas station they are the big ones not the tiny little shits.

A little squeak leaves Willow as she sees the box of Swiss Rolls and tries to nab the box from me.

Waving my fore finger back and forth in front of Willow's face, "Nut-ugh, little Red, these we're sharing…" I tease and open the box and letting Willow grab two packs out, putting the box back into the car Willow hands me my package of Swiss Rolls.

"Thank you Damon, I'm really happy you're home, I was really worried when you stopped sending letters and calling me." Willow murmurs and looks down at the ground shuffling her toe, 'Why does Willow dress like a girl going to Catholic School…I mean…if she wasn't so shy and softly spoken she could definitely make it sexy…'

"I missed you too, Wills." I reply to Willow and it's true that my predecessor missed her quite a bit, Xander too…but he absolutely hates Jesse.

Willow turns a concerning shade of red again and starts fidgeting, 'Oh, I'm the brother she has a crush on…sweet!'

"You better start heading to class Willow, and I gotta make a stop at the administration office and probably meet the principal…" I say to Willow and notice Xander is long gone. A Twinkie wrapper on the ground is the only sign that he was ever here.

"Principal Flutie, is really nice, you know I heard there's a new girl coming to school today too." Willow tells and reminds me of an excited puppy.

"Really, while I'm sure you could become really good friends with her if you have a bit more confidence in yourself, Wills." I say to the pretty red haired girl and rest my hand on her shoulder to convey my faith in her, pretty eyes sparkling at my faith in her as she shyly reaches back and brushes some of her long slightly wavy hair behind her left ear.

Willow squeaks out a thank you and then bolts, "I guess I pushed her a little too far…" I snicker in amusement and head into the school, finding the administrative office/principals office is much easier and less convoluted than my old highschool.

And I manage to walk right into Buffy as she exits the principal's office knocking her stuff out of her hands.

"Sorry!" Buffy and I quickly apologize to one another and I help her pick up her items and grab Mr.Pointy before Xander who is wheeling down the hallway on his skateboard can see it. I tuck it…him, Mr.Pointy the wooden stake into my messenger bag.

"I gotta go!" Buffy says and Xander comes over and slings his left arm over my shoulder, "I'm glad to see you, de-attract, the babes just like me!" My new little brother jokes and I turn my head to glare at him which makes Xander gulp and remove his arm from my shoulder a slight tremble attacking his body as he does, and I crack a smile at him.

"Naw, baby bro…your stank is what sent her packin, not all of this McSexiness." I joke while using my hands to gesture to myself while wiggling my eyebrows, which has the effect of making Xander giggle.

"Now get to class, and don't ride your skateboard or you'll end up in detention." I tell Xander firmly and he smirks at me.

"Alright Dad!" Xander somehow manages to sound like an exasperated teenage girl as he starts walking away, he devolves into a fit of giggles maybe five steps away from me making me chuckle.

'I'm really goin to miss you Glenn…'

My meeting with Bob Flutie is similar to what I remember Buffy's being like in the show, and all I can say is the man is a bit cooked but in a good way.

Getting my class schedule from his assistant I make my way to my first class and find that it is with Xander who is sitting at the back of the class, with Jesse but sadly there aren't any open seats, near them.

I grab an empty seat at the front of the class and zone out, mindlessly making my way through the school day walking from…I think social studies to chemistry, I hear a familiar bullying session…going down as I approach a corner.

"Willow, nice dress, good to know, you've seen the softer side of Sears."

"Uh, well, well my mom picked it out for me."

"No wonder you're such a guy mag-"

'Yup, not happening.' I think as I walk around the Cordelia and Buffy duo and wrap my left arm around Willow's waist and pull her against my side.

"Cordelia, I see that you haven't changed…no that's not quite true, I see that you've gotten even more shallow, which is quite an achievement, if you were a puddle before now you couldn't even get the bottom of my steel toed boots wet, tell me are you that insecure that you have to pick on a girl that is naturally prettier than you?" I ask in an almost sing-song sounding voice while Cordelia looks like she's swallowed a frog and Buffy looks to be on the verge of giggling, but is keeping herself from doing.

"Are you done here?" I ask Cordelia while arching my left eyebrow in question at her, and she looks to be on the verge of tears as she takes off down the hall, with Buffy quickly moving to catch up to her.

"You alright Wills?" I ask Willow as I let go of her side and turn my head to face her, finding Willow looking up at me with a beat red face and sparkling dazed eyes.

Willow just nods, then puts her head down and walks away from me.

'Well, I thought I'd at least get a thank you…guess I overloaded her circuitry and caused a Willow.EXE crash.'

~~ — — — — — — — — — — — — ~~

I watch and listen as Cordelia acts as if she wasn't just roasted by that dreamy guy with abs back at the drinking fountain, "If you want to fit in here, The first rule is know your losers, Once you can identify them all by sight, they're a lot easier to avoid."

I make a fake expression of understanding, 'I really don't like this girl…I think I'd rather slay vampires than put up with Cordelia Chase and her mean girl shtick.'

"Hey Cordelia, do you know who that guy was back at the drinking fountain?" I find myself asking and wonder if I'll have time to regret it as Cordelia's head whips to the side to face me.

"He's nobody, just a loser that ran away from home at the end of eighth grade!" Cordelia says in a way that tells me she's lying and that there was something between the two of them that turned sour.

"Oh okay." I reply to Cordelia and decide that I'll track down Willow during lunch to get the deets on Mr.Hotty and try and make a friend.

"If you're not too busy tonight catching up, you should come by the Bronze tonight!"

"The who?"

"The Bronze, it's the only club worth goin'to'around here. They let anybody in, but it's still the scene, though it's in the bad part of town."

'God can this girl be any more annoying…oh she's looking at me I better ask here where the Bronze is.'

"Where's that?"

"About half a block from the good part of town." Cordelia sighs, "There's, we don't have a lot of town here, but umm, you should show!" Cordelia continues and I can now fully register her fake friendliness.

"Well, I've got a lot of unpacking to do still…but I'll try…" 'Maybe I can run into tall, dark and dreamy…' the bell suddenly rings.

"Umm, okay…I'll see you at Gym and you can tell me absolutely everything there is to know about you!"

"Great!" I reply to Cordelia fakely and once she's far enough away.

"Oh, that sounds like hell." I murmur while rolling my eyes and releasing a sigh of relief of being temporarily rid of Cordelia Chase, while I turn and walk into the library.

~~ — — — — — — — — — — — — ~~