Waifu Catalog Beta Tester: Free to Play Skyblock

Ireena already had a satchel set aside for travel, but Gil took one look at it and declared it inadequate. At his insistence, the trio gathered everything that Ireena could possibly need, as well as a few sacks of provisions. Radishes had never been Gil's favorite, but he shoved as many of them as he could into the backpack that came with the Hunter's Survival Kit. They'd last.

"Look, if you want your hair to turn into a rat's nest be my guest, but you have a hair brush right there. Why not take it? Put it next to the sewing kit. You don't happen to have crochet hooks somewhere? No? Shame."

"By all means, leave the jewelry here if you want to gift it to Ismark's future wife or something, but don't leave it behind because of weight. Put it in the extra bag; Ismark and I can come back for it later."

"No, we don't really need water, at least not anywhere near as much as you'll need extra clothes. We have a steady supply of clean water. If you want to bring wine, be my guest, but that's more for fun than any real necessity."

When they were done, they had four full bags. One that Ireena filled with nutrient dense food and the bare essentials, which included a sewing kit and a whetstone at Gil's insistence. The next had useful but not necessarily vital tools, some valuables, and several smoked fish wrapped in old cloth. The third was full of redundant items and small durable luxuries; an extra comb, a jar of honey, and several extra sets of clothes for example. The last was pure luxuries, including a few dresses for Ireena, a hand mirror, and her jewelry box.

The plan was for Ireena to carry her essentials while Gil and Ismark carried Kolya's body on a litter, and Ismark and Gil would ferry the rest to Gil's portal once Ireena was secure. Gil did not fail to notice that Ireena was deliberately keeping her valuables out of his hands for as long as possible. He didn't mind; indeed, his estimation of Ireena went up a few notches upon seeing this tactful level of caution. After all, if called upon to duel a vampire Gil had absolutely no intention of staying to fight.

Vampires were an odd bunch. They popped up in all sorts of settings, mundane or mystical, and were very inconsistent. They were usually superhuman in some way, but the severity varied wildly. Sometimes they were essentially just humans with an odd diet, perhaps with an extended lifespan. More often they had superhuman senses and physical abilities that started at the peak of human potential and usually exceeded it. They often had talent with magic, if magic was available to anyone in the setting. Occasionally they were fully capable of massacring a platoon of armed soldiers with minimal effort. Gil didn't know where this Strahd fellow fell on the spectrum, and he didn't particularly want to find out when his own martial feats consisted of drawing his knife somewhat quickly.

As they walked down the main street, a fog rolled in. It made Gil shiver, as his mind conjured up fresh memories of the mist-maddened seru. In the distance, he could hear wailing. A woman in clear distress.

"Is that Mad Mary again?" Ismark asked. "Still at it."

"She lost her daughter, Ismark." Ireena scolded him, "she's allowed to mourn."

"Maybe, but at this rate she's likely to waste away and die." Ismark said, "There has to be something more productive she could be doing."

"What is she supposed to do, brother?" Ireena asked with a sigh, "storm Castle Ravenloft and demand her daughter back?"

Before Ismark could reply, the three heard a strange whooping sound in the distance, layering over itself as it grew steadily louder and clearer. Whatever it was, it was coming straight for them and it was coming in a group.

"We have to put the litter down." Gil said. "I'd rather not drop him."

Ismark looked back, and relented with a sigh. Together the men put Kolya down and drew their blades, forming a loose triangle formation with Ireena.

Gil was shocked to see the creatures that rushed out of the fog, prompting his tablet to buzz. Six squat bald goblinoids, with heavy black boots, loincloths, carved wooden shields, and spiked gloves. He was being attacked by the Gobu Gobu, identical to those found in the Lands Shrouded in Mist. It seemed extremely unlikely that this place and Rim Elm shared a setting, so Gil was totally thrown off. He didn't have long to wonder, however, as the enemy was soon upon him.

Ismark and Ireena each held up their blades defensively towards the Gobu Gobu. Gil rushed to do the same once he got over his surprise. He realized, belatedly, that he should have asked if the siblings had an extra sword he could borrow. His knife wasn't much of a weapon, even if it was better than nothing.

He had a slight reach advantage over the short Gobu Gobu, which would have given him a small edge if he'd been fighting just one. Unfortunately, at the start of the fight they were all focused on killing him and him alone. They charged Gil in a disorganized mass, and he was only able to backpedal quickly. Ironically, their numbers saved him since they got in one another's way.

Ismark had no clue what was happening, but didn't need a reason to defend his companion. He split the skull of one of the assailants with a single mighty blow, and quickly followed up with a cut that bit deeply into another's arm. They stopped ignoring him then, with three splitting off to overwhelm the young warrior. Ireena followed only a few seconds later, though she wasn't as practiced as her brother. The single Gobu Gobu she struck turned to lunge at her, which she side stepped with a yelp.

Gil was thus left with only one enemy to deal with, and to his credit he reversed his flight once he had a good chance of winning. He didn't intend to make any dramatic displays of prowess, but a few shallow cuts got the Gobu Gobu bleeding. As it was slowed by blood loss, Gil took a risk and rushed its left side. He buried his knife into the creature's shield arm and ripped it out before dancing away. That may have finished it off if Ireena didn't finish the job, having finished her own opponent quickly.

Ismark was bleeding heavily, having received a single deep puncture in his side. Four Gobu Gobu lay dead at his feet, but without medical attention he'd join them soon. He planted his blade in the ground, using it as a cane.

Ireena was uninjured, but rattled. She wasn't as experienced with her weapon as her brother, having only taken up the sword when she realized her life was in danger. She'd practiced religiously and been forced to use it several times in the last month, but she was still fairly green.

"Alright. Ismark, you need medical treatment." Gil said, tossing Ireena a healing leaf pouch. "Rub a pinch of this into the wound, then put the rest into your cheek. It'll help make sure you don't bleed out, I promise."

Gil hauled Kolya's corpse onto his shoulders and hoped that they were near their destination. He was putting quite a lot of effort into a girl that he didn't have a mission for, but on the other hand Ismark had probably just saved his life. He owed him at least that much help in return.

••••••••••

Gil was more than a little uneasy as he approached the run down chapel. He heard muffled screaming long before he saw the squat stone building. Ireena either didn't notice or didn't care, focused far more on supporting Ismark the rest of the way to safety. Between Gil supporting over a hundred pounds of dead weight and Ireena supporting her woozy brother, their pace had slowed to a crawl.

"Is everything alright?" Gil puffed, "it sounds like someone else might be hurt?"

"That's just Doru." She answered brusquely. "Tragic story, but not likely to be a danger to anyone as long Father Donavich keeps his head."

Gil didn't find this answer particularly satisfactory, but he was also carrying well over a hundred pounds of dead Burgomaster. He often forgot how weak he was at the beginning of a test, and was worryingly close to collapsing. In short, he was just too damn tired to care anymore. Ireena pulled the door open, revealing a large candlelit room.

It was a chapel, with six long benches in place to seat around a hundred people: far less than the population of Barovia. A balding man with wispy gray hair prayed to a wooden icon resembling a sun. Gil couldn't make out his words over the now much clearer screams from below.

"Father! I'm starving!" Doru cried from somewhere in the building. "Please father, let me out? I promise you have nothing to fear."

Gil placed Kolya on one of the pews and took a seat himself while Ireena went to speak with the priest. The first thing he did was pull out his tablet and search for an explanation. Random goblins were not supposed to start planeswalking, damn it. Thankfully the answer was easy enough to find and somewhat reassuring.

Penalty Mission: Random Encounter - complete

When in an area of dense fog, you will be assaulted by enemies from the Lands Shrouded in Mist. This mission will be hidden until triggered for the first time. They may split up in order to attack multiple members of your retinue. They will give up very easily if unable to harm you or a retinue member, leaving to return again later.

End: Kill all seven assailants without letting any escape. They will respawn at a rate of 1 per day if not all are killed.

Reward: Whore's Necklace

Whore's Necklace: this cursed necklace gives the wearer a split personality that has the mindset of an unrepentant whore, fully willing to haggle their body and dignity in pursuit of their desires (petty or substantial). The split personality will only surface when haggling or carrying out a deal of this kind with the tester, and all lost time will be replaced with a firm mental block and more palatable memories explaining their behavior (potentially including a more romantic sexual encounter if the base personality would be open to such a thing.) The wearer will be unable to allow others to remove it.

On the one hand, free company swag was always a good thing. Company swag that he could use to control the girls he brought home was especially good, given that he didn't have any other way of ensuring loyalty at this point. Of course, it hadn't really been free.

Gil had gotten lucky this time. If those creatures had attacked while he was alone or with just Snow, he would have had to dive back into the skyblock portal. The reward for dealing with the penalty mission was nice, but he didn't think the intended playstyle was to farm penalty missions by deliberately overstaying his welcome each week. Well, not yet anyway. He might give it a shot if he found himself excessively powerful some time soon.

The more pressing question was how the other one died. Gil smiled at a vivid mental image of Snow pulling out a pistol and icing a Gobu Gobu, but thought it more likely she'd somehow employed the beastmaster sphere. According to the retinue tab, she was uninjured but there was no active cooldown on the Beastmaster Sphere. He'd need to ask her later. Then again, it was always possible that Ireena's stalker had quietly eliminated one of them to protect her; that seemed plausible. Lots of stalkers had delusions about protecting their targets.

••••••••••

Snow slowly crawled down off the table, shuddering at the gruesome sight in front of her. The greenish brown man had kicked the door down and charged her with his strange weapon, but the sweet young woman hadn't felt any particular antipathy. She'd been scared and called for help, but she hadn't really known what to expect. Snow had never seen animals hunting, let alone watched thousands of rats consume a humanoid creature like land piranhas.

She took a deep breath and centered herself. It wasn't all bad. These rats had leapt to her defense. That was very kind of them, and she did feel awful for all the rodents that had been killed in the struggle. With the help of Stress Defense, she was able to focus on the positive. These creatures were willing to kill to protect her, which made them a bit like Master Gil in that way. Quite noble, actually.

The rats suggested she leave, going to where some of their more powerful allies lived. They were awfully pushy about it, too. She assumed that was because so many of them had died, but in fact they just didn't want her to steal the new pile of meat that had wandered into their home. She allowed a few dozen rats to lead her out of town. She hoped that "the big ones" would be half as accommodating as all the little furry friends she'd made.