Try Living Well Without Me

Through the suffocating darkness.

Upon reaching the bright world.

An endless expanse of white…?

‘…!’

“Congratulations! It’s a healthy prince~!”

There are people.

People with unfamiliar attires.

The lower garments are so short they reveal the calves, adorned with a few stark red decorations on a white background.

To be frank, I have never seen such a costume throughout my thousands of regresses. Where exactly am I?

“Ah! Ah!”

The one who was just born cries, swaddled in blankets in the arms of a woman. The woman, who appears to be the mother, and a man with golden hair gaze affectionately at this ‘one’.

Light is emanating from the sky. At a glance, it resembles the sun, but it’s too bright. It illuminates every corner of the space. Not even the Yaming gem could shine this brightly.

‘Wh… What is this…?’

Something is wrong. My mind is confused.

Accepting a new civilization is not difficult for me. During my long life of regression through time, I’ve visited many places.

The divine empire of the northwest, the Tianzhu country of the southwest, the Wa country of the east, the Beihai Binggong in the north, the Nanman in the south— I’ve experienced them all. Hardly any civilization could shock me.

However, here.

Ding-Ding-Ding-Ding.

An uninspired sound rings out regularly. At first glance, it resembles a pure bell sound, yet it’s eerily repetitive.

Though it’s just a small sound, it reveals something to me.

That I’m caught up in something vast.

“Phew… I’m tired.”

The ‘Golden Sun’ moves along, riding a square box called a bus, a product of the industrial revolution.

It’s incomparably faster than any normal carriage, capable of carrying dozens of people, sturdily built, and remains one of the most commonly used mechanical devices in the modern world.

Ding.

From Golden Sun’s pocket, a mechanical sound emanated. He put his hand into his pocket and pulled out a rectangular panel. Inside the panel was a black screen.

When he pressed a button on the side of the panel, the screen lit up. I no longer find it surprising.

-[I.. I, today there’s nobody home…]

The content of the message displayed on the screen was clear to me. The woman beyond the text was indirectly inviting Golden Sun into a sexual relationship. It was utterly depraved.

-[Tomorrow.]

After replying briefly, Golden Sun pressed the button again to turn off the light on the panel. He leaned his head back against the bus seat and exhaled a weary sigh.

This is a primary tactic Golden Sun uses. To drive the women he’s captured to a state of restlessness. It doesn’t look good.

Ding, Ding, Ding-Ding…

The message tone kept ringing, but Golden Sun paid no attention to each one. A sigh of fatigue settled in.

This place is… the future world.

To be precise, the future of the world ‘where there was no martial forest.’

I lived in the Song Dynasty. People like Yu So-eun, Namgung Su-a, Jade Flower, Hong Ryun, monks, Jin Gayoung and many others also lived in that era. Jin Woo-yong might be from five hundred years ago.

Here, things are different. First, Golden Sun is from what was previously called Goryeo, an eastern nation. This is a time after several kingdoms have risen and fallen.

The Song Dynasty has fallen. The kingdoms that followed also came to an end one by one. The world industrialized and modernized, evolving into a world that coexists with machines such as it is now.

However…

There is no ‘martial forest’ here.

Even in the past records, it’s the same. There is no such thing as a martial forest. There are people who claim to be martial artists, but none of them can generate internal energy.

There are no martial artists who use light body skill to leap several zhang high or topple a large tree with a single punch.

There are a few resemblances between my world and this one. The same countries existed, and the historical figures remain the same.

Confucius is still revered as one of the four great sages of the world. Bao Zheng, who proved my innocence, is recorded as the greatest official in history. In folk legends, he’s said to have become the king of the underworld. Though not the Bao Zheng I know.

There is no martial forest here.

Ding-Ding-Ding-Ding…

A slightly unusual alert rang out.

That wasn’t a message notification. It signaled that a new chapter of a favorite electronic novel of Golden Sun had been uploaded.

Simultaneously, it is also the sound that makes me feel the most pitiful and wretched.

“Ho, right on time again. This author is punctual, which is good.”

Cheerfully, Golden Sun pulled out the object he had put in his pocket earlier and started reading the novel.

The most tragic novel in the world.

‘……’

In this novel,

My story is written.

Under the title of “99 Ways to Save the Martial Forest about to Perish,” it records the ninety-nine rounds I lived through before facing the Heavenly Demon.

“Khee-hee.”

Golden Sun laughs.

He laughs while reading my mistakes.

He laughs while reading my embarrassing faults.

He laughs while seeing me fail over and over again after going back in time, unable to save my family.

“Still going on like this. At first, when I would regress, I died quite early.”

Inside the palm-sized box,

My struggles are recorded.

And in that story, I am nothing but a laughingstock.

“Ah, will they finally fight Blood Demon?”

Namgung Bin grinned with anticipation as he scrolled the screen.

In there, I die at the hands of Blood Demon. Blood Demon rips out my intestines and steals my heart. I helplessly die while watching it all happen.

“Well, of course, when will you defeat Blood Demon, Cheolbin? Really, will you manage to go through all 99 rounds? Given the author’s track record with their previous work, it’s possible.”

The ‘previous work’ that Golden Sun mentions is the story of my ancestor and the first regressing person, the Sword Immortal.

According to the novel in the box, he broke through his trials in only nine rounds, but there was no mention of his supposed creation of the Boundless Heaven Scroll. This part is a bit mysterious.

“Ah, it’s finished already.”

Today’s installment has ended. Realizing this, Golden Sun proceeded to a place where similar people gather.

A place where people either pity me, mock me, ridicule me— the ‘comment section.’

[Cheolbin lost again lololol]

[Tthought something different might happen today, but back to square one… Really, there’s no hope.]

[MUH this mashup of wuxia, dystopia, and apocalypse makes sense right?]

[999th day praying for Cheolbin and Soeun to have a third child]

[Okay, let’s analyze why Cheolbin failed again this time. Who do you guys think trolled the most?]

[? Obviously the Lord of the Alliance, right? That woman hasn’t done a single helpful thing.]

[Nah, I think Soeun has the biggest problem. With her out of the picture, Cheolbin would’ve given up on regression ages ago and committed suicide. Saved a lot of trouble, don’t you think?]

[Holy sht, this guy wants to burn the novel.]

My tragedy, my trials, my pain are nothing more than jokes to them.

I understand. To them, I’m just a trivial piece of writing. A fiction existing only in printed form.

[Oh, really feels bad for Cheolbin. rlY, when is Cheolbin gonna get some peace?]

[Bs, it says “peace” in the tags, but only despair comes out. I’m waiting eagerly for our Cheolbin to find peace.]

[? Weren’t they gonna remove the “peace” tag two days ago? Didn’t see that notice.]

[? Damn fraudulent author fooling the readers!]

[Peace? Isn’t the cutest thing Soeun and Cheolbin living sweet together? I always get a fatherly smile when I see that.]

[You masochistic freaks. Both the author and readers are out of their minds.]

[LMAO this guy’s gonna jump into the story soon.]

[Man, jumping into such a dark wuxia universe, suicide would be the wisest choice, wouldn’t it?]

There are even people who lament for me. But it doesn’t exactly improve my mood.

I am a regressive who failed thousands of times and succeeded once. My history was erased from this world, but it still existed in my mind.

Or so I believed. Until I discovered that this history lingered somewhere unexpected, keeping the terrible memories I wished to forget. Through the little box held by Golden Sun, I am reminded of it all again.

[Don’t insult Soeun. She’s the only ‘queen’ here.]

[Uh, what about Jade Flower, who loved Cheolbin wholeheartedly?]

[No, it would be better to call her justice, right? Stop bringing up Wuxia nonsense.]

[What’s this obsession with monogamy. Jade Flower would do anything for Cheolbin, even entering the Blood Sect headquarters. Not monogamy, what is it?]

[… Gather together, our Oriental Invincible Faction. Love made this girl change her gender, why bring up the term ‘queen’?]

[Uh, shut up you guy born male.]

[Kill! How dare you insult this sacred TS (gender transition)!]

Golden Sun giggles as he reads the comment section. I’m in such despair, but he laughs heartily, enjoying it.

Golden Sun’s fingers move as he prepares to write a comment.

[Argue all you want. In the end, the heroine is only Soeun, who even bore Cheolbin’s child. sg]

This was Golden Sun’s comment. In reality, he was someone who played around with countless women, yet surprisingly, in the book, he was someone who pursued pure love. It’s so different from the ‘him’ I know, it’s utterly baffling.

[…What? Just sitting at home and getting protected for nothing, yet complaining lol]

[What can Cheolbin do if she won’t let him out? After all, he’s still obsessed with what happened when she died protecting him in the first regression.]

[Soeun is precious. She needs to be protected.]

[That’s the charm. Do you understand the allure of weakness that can fall with a mere breeze?]

A small debate unfolds underneath his comment, making fun of my wife.

There isn’t much malice in their comments. So I cannot harbor malice either. It’s just irritating and sorrowful, all I can do is bite my lip. There’s nothing I can do anyway…

Whoosh.

The bus moves on. Time flows.

“Ah, finally the last episode. Will he finally defeat Blood Demon for real?”

Inside the same bus as it was years ago, Namgong Bin tapped the freshly uploaded latest episode of “99 Ways to Save the Martial Forest.”

I know what the story he is about to read contains. There’s no way I could not. It’s the story I experienced personally.

Swiiiish.

When he reaches the pinnacle of martial arts and defeats Blood Demon. And when he feels ultimate happiness, Heaven Demon manifests, and everything resets once more…

By the time he had scrolled through the screen completely, Namgong Bin’s expression darkened slightly. Is he feeling some form of sympathy with my tragedy?

“Ho, this ending isn’t bad either. Though it’s a shame it’s not a happy one, but it is a regressive genre after all.”

…That can’t be.

Namgong Bin entered the comment section. The atmosphere there wasn’t bright.

[Wow… Our author probably got beaten up by Cheolbin in their school days…]

[By now, please give him some happiness. I understand regression stories, but it’s too cruel, doesn’t the author have any feelings?]

[Cheolbin and Soeun making their third kid, day 999 of hoping…]

[Nah, I give up. Write some side story at least.]

[Where does the author live? I’ll rip him/her apart.]

[You book-obsessed cretins keep showing up. This ending’s the same as the previous one.]

…No, it’s bright in a way. In the end, to them, I am nothing but a trivial source of amusement.

“Hm… Still, as it finished without being left on hiatus, it deserves a good review.”

After contemplating the messy comments for a while, Namgong Bin smirked slightly while writing a comment.

[Cheering for you. Keep up the good work.]

After typing the short and positive message, Namgong Bin turned off the phone. A moment later, a reply notification sound came from his phone.

Ding-Ding-Ding…

Hearing the sound, Namgong Bin turned the phone back on. The notification of a reply that simply read “Just words?” flashed in Namgong Bin’s eyes.

And then, the next moment.

Shaaak…

Namgong Bin transformed into Namgong Bin.

Occasionally, there are scholars who wonder, ‘What am I?’

I thought such pondering was a blessing. A concern one could only have due to a boring life.

However, now I am deeply trapped in this doubt.

What am I?

Could I be just a ‘character’ in someone’s amusement and ridicule?

Or am I ‘me’— someone else’s husband, father, uncle, and benefactor?

Was all my effort merely for their enjoyment? Was my fierce life only meant to provide them with a brief pleasure every day?

Was the world I lived in, the world I struggled so hard to save, just a world manifested from a combination of words? Is that all it was?

Could this ‘new world’ Namgong Bin spoke of when he possessed Jinyongjin mean precisely this?

If the people I know, who are friends, family, and lovers to me, are merely ‘characters’…

If it truly is…

Could I, who has already realized this fact, live on without hesitation?

If I, knowing now that everything I knew was merely a scribble of someone’s words…

Could I really continue living with composure?

……

– Hey, you cursed son-in-law!

‘Master?’

– I sensed your spirit wavering, so I came to check. Looks like you’re wallowing in despair again! Aren’t you thinking about the Lord within you at all?

‘…! My existence, my life is being negated. I’m no god, and what am I supposed to do in this…!’

– Ha! Let me set this straight once and for all!

Suddenly Jin Woo-yong appeared, shouting at me with anger.

– If your wife, Ms. Yu, got hurt or suffered, wouldn’t you move without hesitation?

‘…Of course. I’ve promised her that I will protect her for life.’

– Would you not help if your close friend Jade Flower were injured?

‘…Is there anyone who would stand back and watch a friend suffer?’

– If our Sunbae that saved you or Hong Ryun who you saved were hurt?

‘…Ignoring grace is something only beasts do.’

– Does your daughter’s pain not hurt your heart? Ultimately, you would act on it wouldn’t you?

‘…Is there a parent who would abandon their child? Even if the child abandoned the parent, a parent couldn’t do such a thing.’

Jin Woo-yong continues listing obvious truths. Why is he bringing these things up all of a sudden?

– That’s exactly you. Someone who once said something will surely keep it, cannot tolerate injustice, and cherishes those around you dearly. You, you are that kind of person. You are far more than just some character in some insignificant street novel.

‘…’

– What’s this nonsense about characters in words? What are you supposed to do about it? Whether we were born from words or some ‘writer’ out there wrote down our world’s stories, that is utterly irrelevant. Why worry about some stranger’s writings?

‘…’

– What? Do you think you can’t live normally anymore? So what? The world we’ve lived in has a history and tradition, a long and intricate past. Do you believe all that was merely conjured up in someone’s head? Bah, nonsense.

‘…’

– Haven’t you believed in what you thought was right and lived well until now? Don’t be swayed by trivial matters. Even if we are mere scribbles, our world does not change. You, as well, are destined to protect those around you.

‘…’

– In short, perhaps to them, you may just be a combination of words. But to you, aren’t you more than that? Your lived world, it surely exists. Simply put, everyone’s position is determined by someone else. You are a husband, father, friend, and admired figure to some, just a minor role to others. So what? Aren’t you who you are regardless?

‘…’

– Don’t forget. Don’t let trivial worries sway you. If your spirit has been displayed clearly, you wouldn’t have been distracted by this kind of silly game.

My head became numb as if struck by a hammer.

Only Jin Woo-yong’s words resonate.

I realize afresh that our chance encounter, which seemed accidental, was indeed the most grateful encounter of my life.

*

---