Try Living Well Without Me

The Blood Demon has been decapitated, and the Sword Sage, Namgung Cheolbin, who single-handedly repelled the Heaven Demon’s invasion of the Central Plains, no longer exists.

Now, all that remains is a Namgung Cheolbin branded with disgrace, accused by righteous martial artists as an evil cultist, and sneered at by those of the heretical schools as a hypocrite.

“…Hah.”

I swear by heaven: aside from the family martial arts of the Great Namgung Family, the Emperor Sword Formation and the Empty Heaven Sword Method, I’ve never practiced any other martial art.

Yet, the people accuse me of secretly training in demon arts, and being a lackey of the Heaven Demon, as payment for a backroom deal involving the seven-day battle with the Blood Demon and driving the Heaven Demon back to the Celestial Mountains.

I swear by the earth: I have never wantonly defiled any woman. Actually, I’ve never mingled affection with anyone other than my wife.

Yet, the people call me a villain who defiles all kinds of women and even accuse me of having the bizarre sexual preference of pedophilia.

A young girl claims she lost her purity to me.

Despite never giving herself to anyone but her husband, she says this.

I swear on myself: I’ve never swung a fist at an innocent person, no matter how mentally difficult my day.

Yet, the people call me trash who beats their family when drunk.

A child I’ve never met from the Huangbao family says I slapped them after being offered a drink. Interestingly, after making this claim, she received two thousand taels of silver from my younger brother.

To send the greatest hero of the righteous path to the pits for two thousand taels of silver—she is truly the real hero.

“…Hah hah.”

Am I really going mad? An evil laugh I’ve never had before escapes.

Looking at the mirror next to me, the man who appears has dark circles under his eyes and a gaunt face.

So emaciated he looks like nothing more than bones and skin, a man whose sight alone evokes pity.

Thinking this is me, I can’t help but wonder what all of my efforts for the martial world of the Central Plains have amounted to.

Pfft.

Another evil laugh escapes, and the man in the mirror laughs along.

I was once the peerless Sword Sage, the greatest swordsman in the martial world, admired by all the young geniuses and favored by the elders.

How did I fall this far?

Even in thousands of loops, it wasn’t this painful.

Now, I don’t even feel sorrow.

It’s just… utterly bullshit.

Though I’ve hardly ever used profanity in my life, lately, I’ve found it oddly satisfying each time I do.

Of course, I refrain from saying these vulgar things out loud and only mutter them in my mind.

“So… shall we work again today…?”

Regardless of how the people view me, I am still the head of the Namgung family.

That means I must attend the Namgung meeting.

I straightened my clothes in the mirror and combed my unruly hair to the back as best I could.

Using my inner energy, I tried to clear the fog from my eyes and cleared my throat.

I must do this so that the members of the Namgung family feel at least slightly less uncomfortable in my presence.

After all, they already think of me as garbage. At the very least, I should look presentable.

With this thought, I opened the door to the meeting hall.

Creak.

Inside, dozens of elders, senior members, my wife, daughter, and even my younger brother were watching me.

Such a cold gaze, something I’ve become so accustomed to by now.

Despite trying my best to endure it, every stare feels like another blade piercing my chest.

Initially, I thought this was just a misunderstanding, something minor. But with every subsequent stab, and another knife in the same wound, the pain began.

“I apologize for keeping everyone waiting.”

I started with an apology while their cold expressions showed no change, then took my seat as the family head.

To my right was my wife, and to my left was my daughter.

My wife refused to look at me.

Even in familiarity, bitterness remains.

Even if this meeting ends, we’ll continue living in separate quarters, rarely meeting. Still, I would like to ask about her well-being during this moment.

Unfortunately, she refuses my greetings now.

My daughter’s tearful eyes watched me, filled with hatred.

There was affection hidden somewhere too.

‘A mixture of love and hatred, is it?’

When she was young, I promised her that I would become a renowned hero admired by all and bring her a proud father.

For that purpose, I faced the vile Blood Sect and powerful demonic monsters.

Through countless loops, I succeeded in keeping my promise…

‘If only I failed to be a respectable father, though I managed to be a proud one.’

I quietly apologized within, but the meeting had to proceed.

“Let’s start with the contract with Chelyang Trading first. Now, Chelyang Trading has been friendly toward our Great Namgung Family for the past few years…”

“Just a moment, Lord Head. There’s something I need to address before we proceed.”

“…And what might that be? Must it be discussed before the meeting starts?”

A man cleared his lips uneasily, interrupting my sentence.

It was my younger brother, the one responsible for sending me to the pits of despair.

Interrupting the head’s words.

Ten years ago, unimaginable. But now, it’s considered normal, with no one raising an issue—not even the head himself.

“Yes, it’s a very important proposal that can no longer be postponed.”

“…Go on.”

Every word that followed pierced me like swords and spears.

“Through the unanimity of the Council of Elders, the leadership, and all members, we’ve decided to strip you of your position as family head.”

“…!”

“Why do you lead such a dissolute life? Why have you aligned yourself with the devilish sect members in such a way that even we cannot cover it up?”

Cover it up? You?

You’re the ones who inflated the rumors.

“Haha, ha.”

With some effort, I managed to rise from my seat, only to stagger.

Though recently frequent, today I staggered more than usual—but not even to the point of collapse.

Yet…

“…”

There was not a single person to support me.

My daughter clenched her fists tightly, her lips shut, trembling. My wife maintained her ice-cold demeanor, though her legs, hidden beneath the table, trembled.

“…Hahahaha, ha, hahahaha.”

Laughter uncontrollably persisted. A sensation so unusually refreshing.

I laughed like a madman for a long while.

“Additionally, we’ve unanimously decided to expel Lord Cheolbin from the Namgung family. This decision has been made unanimously by all.”

“…Hahahaha hahaha.”

“Lord Cheolbin’s name will no longer appear in our genealogy. Should he pass away, there will be no one to honor his shrine, and he will not be forgiven in death.”

“Hohohahaha hahaha! Fantastic, truly marvelous!”

“Uh…?”

“Truthfully, I wanted to quit this fucking job as soon as possible.”

I didn’t train in demon arts.

I didn’t defile women.

I don’t have such a pedophilic sexual preference.

But, no matter how much I scream that, no one will believe it.

Even my wife and daughter, who used to trust me, have now joined in this “unanimous decision.”

In fact, those times when they believed in me were three years ago.

I dream of those moments every day. To me, they feel as if it happened yesterday.

“Ahh, what to do? I’m actually tearing up because I’m so damn happy. To hell with everything, it’s just so fucking absurd!”

I don’t know what I’m saying anymore.

Swearing turned out to be unexpectedly enjoyable. Who knew?

“A…pa…”

“…”

The two women on either side finally directed worried gazes at me after such a long time.

That longing gaze… I longed so much to see it, but it doesn’t register anymore.

I simply want to escape this place as soon as possible.

“Hurry up and leave. We need to continue this meeting without any interference.”

“Haha. Alright. This clueless trash of a brother will step out.”

“You’re no longer my brother. Do not address me like that.”

“…Is that so? I didn’t know, thank you for the clarification!”

Even the elders scolded me for my “coarse language.”

Is this why I went through so many loops?

To live in a world of slander and humiliation, to endure hatred and contempt?

To go mad and reduce myself to this broken man with dark circles under my eyes and chaotic hair?

“Alright! I’m leaving! This Sword Sage Cheolbin dismissed from the family, erased from the genealogy, will no longer obstruct your vision of prosperity! Therefore, please, enjoy your life!”

After shouting in a state of unconsciousness, I…

BANG!

Summoned an air grasp and violently threw the doors open before stomping out.

Servants and retainers glanced at me, trembling with fear.

Why are you scared?

If it weren’t for me, you would’ve all died ages ago. Why do you fear the one who saved your lives over millennia?

The reason became clear shortly.

“Hey, don’t just mess around…! Or you’ll become a sacrifice to demon powers…!”

“Idiot! Wandering around mindlessly like that—you’re gonna end up as a sex slave if someone grabs you!”

“Ughh…!”

What repulsive conversation.

Avoiding this massive wave of disgust I tried to ignore, I turned, only to see my wife glaring at me directly through the partly open door.

She spoke:

“I’ve never seen a monster like you.”

“…Fucking hell.”

“Leave us immediately. Marrying you and living as part of the Namgung family has driven me into madness.”

“Fuck you too!!”

After that, I ran like a madman.

Until the voices disparaging me faded.

Until the disdainful gazes disappeared.

“Ahhhhhhh!”

I screamed out loud as well.

“Please!! Why are you doing this to me?!!”

I argued with the silent heavens, shaking my fists.

That accursed sky, the one that bestowed upon me the ability to regress in time, replied only with another thing.

BANG!

Thunder struck suddenly.

In the heavens filled with dark clouds, lightning flashed.

Torrential rain began to drench me thoroughly.

I’m tired.

Being Namgung Cheolbin is utterly disgusting.

Through regression after regression, I succeeded in making the impossible possible. And all I received in return was hatred.

Why continue to live this life?

I rushed toward a bridge’s underpass.

Perhaps there, I could escape the harsh glares of people.

Thud!

Collapsing onto the ground, I anxiously searched for a rock the size of my palm.

Since it was near the stream, it wasn’t hard to find a rock of desired size.

WHOOSH!

Using the method of three-pronged purifying fire, I heated the rock before swallowing it whole.

“Khaack! Gurrrghh! Cough cough cough…”

My throat burned intensely as I squirmed. Clumps of my long hair flew around wildly.

I extracted a sword qi with my fingers, severing the long hair into a shorter bob.

I’ll change everything.

I’ll damage my vocal cords to change my voice.

Over time, my face will also transform.

With training in Bone-Shrinking Art, my physique will change.

This way, I will no longer be Namgung Cheolbin.

I’ll live a life where no one points a finger at me.

Let those bastards die or live as they please, those fools who can’t distinguish truth from falsehood and make wrong choices. Whether they bitterly regret it later, screaming for me, I’ll ignore it all.

BAM!

Lightning struck again.

From now on, that lightning will be my parents.

Because I’ve just been reborn.

“From now on, my name is ‘Byul Rak’.”

No surname needed.

Even if given, I won’t take it.

“My name is… Byul Rak…”

A hoarse voice emerged from my throat. It felt like the vocal cords were being squeezed entirely.

It’s alright, I can endure.

I’ve endured through thousands of regressions to help others, the world, even my family. I’ve successfully cut off the Blood Demon’s head and repelled the Heaven Demon.

Now, I live for myself, and this pain is trivial.

Drip, drip, drip.

Unstoppable tears flowed from my eyes.

This was once me, the greatest hero commanding the world as the “Sword Sage.”

Now, I’m a surnameless vagrant sitting under an underpass.

“Why did it end up like this?”

When I realized my younger brother envied me, should I have taken action? But I was battling the vice-leader of the Blood Cult at the time.

Should I have spent more time with my family? But I was given neither the time to rest nor to play.

I’ve given my all during all these years of living, never lazily resting or playing.

“Perhaps, this was simply my destiny…”

My limbs went limp; I could no longer move.

The water level was slowly rising due to the heavy rain.

The waters of the stream surged, flooding like hundreds of thousands of Blood Cult followers.

“…”

The water had already reached my waist.

I wanted to stand, but couldn’t move.

Staying here, I’d drown without a doubt.

Honestly, at this point, becoming a water ghost seems more appealing than embarking on a new life.

Splish.

The water splashed near my chest.

Just a little higher, please, put an end to this painful life.

After all, the world will be peaceful now.

Because I’ve made it that way.

Even without me, it will continue to function smoothly.

Splish, splish…!

The water was entering my mouth. I welcomed it without resistance.

‘Am I really dying now?’

The Heaven Demon’s agreement prevents me from regressing in time anymore.

Actually, with my current state of exhaustion, I wouldn’t want to use it even if I could.

Just let me die like this, and everything will end…

BANG!

Hmm?

Something grabbed my collar.

“What are you doing? Why are you doing this?”

An urgent voice reached my ears.

I started being pulled.

My body was dragged aimlessly.

“Daddy! Why are you doing this? Why?!”

…Daddy?

A word I haven’t heard in three years immediately caught my attention. Instinctively, I turned my head.

“Suh, Su-a?”

“Huuu… why… why does your voice sound like this… why did you cut your hair…!”

My daughter Su-a was sobbing as she clutched me tightly.

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