Romantic Troubles of Duanmu-kun

“If nobody goes along, who knows what inappropriate things you two might do…”

“We-we won’t do anything!”

“I’m worried about you, Maho-chan! Men are just beasts in human skin, especially high school boys in puberty. They might look normal usually, but when their bestial nature emerges…”

After chatting for quite a while, the girls still hadn’t reached a consensus.

By this time, Nishikawa Mutsumi, who had been waiting across the road without anyone showing up, seemed ready to leave. She shouldered her backpack and started walking toward the station.

The Novelist had to remind them.

“Hey, she’s about to leave.”

“W-wait a moment!”

Class Rep hurriedly took out a new baseball cap and sunglasses from her bag and handed them to Fujishima Misao… Wait a minute, you did say to “get ready,” but isn’t this excessive? Did you really need two sets of backup disguise items?

Moreover, dressed like this, they would undoubtedly appear increasingly suspicious in the eyes of passersby—

…

Regardless, the three suspicious-looking individuals finally hurried to follow.

Fortunately, since it was after school, the bus was packed with high school students. The carriage was crowded with people, and Class Rep had taken off her jacket. In this environment, wearing a school uniform actually made it less likely to be recognized.

Their target, Nishikawa Mutsumi, appeared lost in thought, seemingly oblivious to her surroundings. She carried her bag to the second-to-last row, sat down, rested her chin on her hand, and gazed absently out the window.

…Thankfully so.

Otherwise, with their amateur approach, they would have been exposed countless times already.

However, the packed bus carriage seemed a bit tough for the girls. With Misao present, there was no need to worry about any troublemakers taking advantage… Still, as the only male, he should step up and help.

As the Novelist supported himself against the window to avoid being pushed to the door by the crowd behind, deep in thought, Misao tapped his shoulder. He turned his head to see the ponytailed girl softly saying, “Just thought of something good—” while giving him a mischievous smile.

Before he could react and decide that whatever it was, he should refuse first—Fujishima Misao placed her palm on her delicate friend’s shoulder and gave her a push.

Class Rep let out a surprised cry, stumbling forward from behind him, and wedged herself perfectly into the gap between the Novelist and the window, barely regaining her footing.

His arm inevitably brushed against her hair and the warm, smooth skin of the girl.

“This is it! The standard scene where the boy shows his gentlemanly side on a crowded bus!”

Misao lowered her head slightly, skillfully squeezing into the gap along with Class Rep. From an observer’s perspective, it looked as though the Novelist was intimately embracing both female high school students.

Several male high school students nearby were unconsciously glancing in their direction. A mysterious case of spontaneous human combustion might occur in public! Just kidding.

“Hey…”

To prevent Class Rep from possibly fainting from embarrassment due to the physical contact, the Novelist had to exert force with both arms, keeping them straight. The pressure from behind suddenly increased.

Even so, the space between him and the window was barely enough to accommodate the two slender girls. Inevitably, they could clearly hear each other’s rapid breathing, and the temperature rose where their arms and faces touched.

Class Rep’s cheeks, like the clouds tinted by the setting sun’s glow outside the bus window, displayed an adorable blush. The girl averted her gaze, looking to the side in flustered confusion, hurriedly placing her bag in front of her chest.

“You saw it, didn’t you?”

Misao’s mischievous gaze fixed on him as she whispered in the Novelist’s ear.

“This is a treasure that in the past only I had collected—Maho-chan’s embarrassed expression! Today, as an exception, I’ll let you witness it too.”

Well, that’s truly appreciated.

“I gratefully accept it with joy.”

“Now, do your best to raise the affection level of us two beautiful girls! Maybe you’ll trigger a love flag!”

“…What if I can’t hold on?”

He’d probably collapse right onto them.

“Hmm… that’s fine too.”

It-it’s fine?

The ponytailed girl’s cheeks turned slightly red as she fidgeted with the hem of her skirt while softly saying:

“In that case, we’ll just let our fists do the talking, okay?”

I see.

Question: What is the most widespread and universal method of communication in the world?

Is it language? Incorrect.

Is it music? Incomplete.

The answer is “violence.”

Even beasts and male high school students who don’t understand human speech can communicate through violence.

Indeed.

The nerve-wracking bus ride lasted ten minutes.

The three followed Nishikawa off the bus and, as expected, saw the gates of “Harumida Girls’ High School.”

“Hmm… how do we get in?”

A new problem arose. However, this was a situation they could have anticipated before coming.

“It’s not a big issue for Maho-chan and me, but you’re the one in trouble, aren’t you?”

Misao’s face showed no sign of concern as she stared at him with interest.

“Want to try it, protagonist? Disguise yourself as a girl and sneak into the girls’ school to investigate the truth—”

That sounds exactly like the beginning of a school mystery romance adventure game.

“I’m sorry, but… I didn’t have time to prepare girls’ clothes…”

There’s no need to apologize for that! Besides, from her tone, if time had permitted, had Class Rep actually intended to bring some? It seems she had a deep misunderstanding about what “get ready” meant.

“Even if you had brought them, no one here would need them.”

The Novelist pointed toward the school gate.

“I just wanted to see firsthand how Nishikawa-san would enter Harumida High School.”

And soon, they had their answer—

She didn’t enter the school at all.

They stood at one end of the road, able to glimpse the fountain, bronze statue, and the academic building of Harumida High School in the distance, along with the huge clock hanging outside the wall.

“What’s going on…?”

Class Rep softly murmured in confusion.

Nishikawa stood quietly in the shade by the gate, as if waiting for a Godot who would never appear.

But Godot did appear.

Girls wearing different school uniforms, one after another, emerged from both ends of the road.

Judging by the distance between their steps, each had arrived alone, yet they seemed to be walking together.

They waited at the gate of Harumida High School, just like Nishikawa. After their number exceeded thirty, a girl walked out from inside the gate.

Translator’s Note: The reference to “waiting for Godot who would never appear” is an allusion to Samuel Beckett’s famous absurdist play “Waiting for Godot,” in which two characters wait endlessly for someone named Godot who never arrives. Here, the author uses this literary reference to emphasize the seemingly futile waiting, but then subverts the expectation by having someone actually appear—creating an ironic contrast to the original play’s premise.