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Chapter 7: Big Angry’s Warranty Expired



I was running. Full speed. No thoughts. Just pure, unfiltered survive.exe running in my brain.

Then I saw her.

Just… standing there.

Dead centre in the chaos, looking around like she just woke up in the wrong save file. Dazed. Confused. Completely out of sync with the whole "Oh shit, we're all gonna die" vibe.

Not just me—others saw her too. But nobody stopped. Nobody had time.

Because when the world is speedrunning its own destruction, you don't pause for side quests. You run. You survive.

And I get it. Some people matter to someone. They've got families, people waiting for them at home, reasons to keep breathing.

Me? Nobody depends on me.

But that doesn't mean I don't value my own damn life.

I could keep running. Should keep running.

And yet—

My feet slowed.

Because, deep down, I just know.

If I leave her, I'll be carrying that moment in my head forever. A little "Congrats! You Failed as a Human Being!" notification flashing in my brain for the rest of my miserable life.

"Peter!" Ned's voice was distant. Panicked. "Bro, what are you—DON'T—"

I ran.

Straight towards her.

And because my luck stat is permanently in the red…

Oh. Cool. A flying car.

A whole-ass vehicle, flipping through the air like it got isekai'd by an explosion. And its landing spot? Right where she's standing.

Oh, hell no.

I didn't think. Didn't hesitate. Just dashed.

One second she was frozen, the next I had her in my arms, practically tackling her to the ground.

And then—

BOOM.

Metal crunching. Glass shattering. Debris flying like it had beef with gravity.

I hit the pavement, hard, with her shielded under me. My back? Already filing a lawsuit against me.

"Ow."

The girl shifted slightly, blinking up at me. "…Uh?"

Behind us, the car finally settled into a smoking wreck. Another explosion went off in the distance, because of course it did.

I barely had time to process the fact that I was still alive before—

CRASH.

Another car got yeeted across the street, straight into a row of police cruisers.

Big Angry wasn't slowing down. If anything, he was getting worse. Dude was in full "I hate infrastructure" mode, turning the street into his personal demolition derby.

And the cops? Yeah, they were not winning this fight. One poor guy barely dodged getting turned into an abstract painting as Big Angry swung a truck at him like it owed him money.

I tightened my grip on the girl and started moving back.

Ignoring the chaos. Ignoring the officers who were about to get blendered.

Because right now? We needed to NOT be here.

But my feet hesitated. Just for a second.

Which, honestly? Bad habit. Gotta work on that.

I turned.

And then—BOOM! The ground cracked as a blur of muscle and momentum slammed into Big Angry.

Big Angry staggered, barely able to react as his opponent unleashed a true shonen protagonist beatdown.

A rock.

No, not a random chunk of debris. The Rock.

No, not Dwayne Johnson. The one from the Fantastic Four.

A mountain of muscle and orange rock was going to town on Big Angry.

Ben Grimm. The ever-lovin', blue-eyed Thing.

And bro was not holding back.

One punch. Two. A full-on JoJo barrage. Big Angry was getting pieced up like he owed Grimm money.

Then Ben, absolute menace that he is, grinned.

"Aw, what's the matter, ugly? Thought ya liked throwin' cars?"

Then he uppercutted Big Angry so hard, I think I heard a Wilhelm scream.

And just like that, Big Angry's warranty on existence expired.

Dude got packed up. Body went airborne. Legs? Decorative. Arms? Just there for aesthetics. Dignity? Missing in action.

Ben Grimm just cracked his knuckles like he was loosening up for round two. Spoiler: there wasn't gonna be one.

"Yeesh," he muttered, rolling his shoulders. "Ya start one little lunch break, and suddenly, the city's got a new demolition project."

Big Angry twitched. Not a smart move.

Ben sighed, real put-upon-like. Then he stomped down, pinning the guy to the pavement like a fly under a rolled-up newspaper. Whole street rattled.

"Nah, pal."

"Break time's over. And I ain't in the mood for a double shift."


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