I Became a Barbarian Warrior Who Hid His Face in a World Where Everything Was Reversed

Chapter 202: Beg for it, Master (1)

-Slap. Slap.

After slapping my cheeks so many times, both my cheeks and palms were starting to sting.

This couldn’t be happening. This shouldn’t be happening.

After enduring hardships in the labyrinth, the first relic I obtained entirely through my own power was just…

“Dil, dildo, kuhuhub…”

Idelbert muttered with a snickering voice, covering her mouth with her hand.

When our eyes met as Idelbert kept glancing at me, she finally couldn’t hold it in and burst into laughter.

“Khahaha! Ahaha! A dildo! Puhuhuk…!”

Her cat tail hit the floor and her palms repeatedly struck the cave floor.

-Hiccup. Hiccup. Puhehe…!

After continuously laughing and choking, she eventually started hiccuping.

“…Are you having fun?”

“Kuku, ahuk…! So-sorry. But, pff…!”

I glared at Idelbert with cold eyes.

Honestly, it was so absurd that I wanted to laugh too. But that was a separate emotion. How could my first relic be a dildo?

I remembered all the hardships fighting the Chimera.

A bizarre monster possessed by magi.

After defeating that terrible thing, all I got was a pussy trembler?

Of course, I grew and learned a lot while defeating it.

But for the reward to be just this… this…!

“…Destruction effect…?”

Just as anger welled up and I was about to throw the dildo, an unfamiliar voice stopped my arm.

When I turned my head, I saw a red-haired woman in full plate armor standing right next to me.

“What?”

“Ah, s-sorry. I just read what was written on that dildo…I mean, the relic…”

When I glared at her for a moment, the woman fidgeted and bowed her head.

“Ah. Well. I’m Dan Milia from the Third Expedition Team of the Claudia Company. Thank you for saving us. Um…Union Leader’s disciple.”

An excellent 90-degree bow. It was an uncommon courtesy among explorers.

‘An explorer from the Claudia Company.’

Someone belonging to a different faction than the Explorers Union. Even so, they were still people who worked for money, so they weren’t too different from other explorers.

I adjusted the mask on my face properly and introduced myself first.

Even if it didn’t matter when we briefly met last time, the situation was different now.

“I’m Balkan. Please raise your head, Ms. Dan. More importantly, what did you say just now?”

“Ah, well…”

While briefly shaking hands, I read the woman’s status window.

[Dan Milia’s current blessings and curses: 3]

[Blessing of Relic Appraisal]

-Gain insight into relics.

-Can accurately understand the effects and performance of relics confirmed by sight.

“I have the Blessing of Relic Appraisal, so I can understand the true value of relics…”

Dan had a blessing commonly seen among those who run companies or fairly large item shops.

“The true value of the relic?”

“Yes. The powers possessed by relics appear as explanations before my eyes.”

Something like a status window limited to relics?

It seemed like quite a convenient ability.

It wasn’t the kind of blessing a sword wielder would have, but Dan did say she was from a company.

“Hmm…?”

Idelbert, who had been hitting the floor and rolling around laughing until just now, came closer with her arms crossed.

Though it looked like an ordinary dildo on the outside, it wasn’t a simple object.

A relic obtained from the 16th floor is something that common explorers, who were as numerous as mayflies, couldn’t even dream of, and would have been traded for a considerable price if it wasn’t a dildo.

Therefore, it must have functions that differentiate it from other dildos.

…It had to.

If not, I would really be depressed for days.

“Um, may I…tell you?”

“Yes. Please do.”

When I nodded my head with wide eyes, Dan made eye contact with the dildo that looked exactly like my dick.

From her lips, which parted hesitantly with a face flushed with embarrassment, everything about this relic was revealed in detail.

“The relic’s name is…the Dildo of Curse Breaking.”

I immediately froze upon hearing that name.

I was bewildered by the name that seemed too grandiose for just a dildo, but a strange expectation arose.

A dildo that breaks curses.

The name alone seemed ominous.

“The first function is that it changes shape to match the first owner’s thing…dick shape. Um… the second function is sensory linking. The sensations felt by the dildo can be felt by the user’s thing too, regardless of where they are. You can also turn off the sensory sharing if you want.”

My mouth fell open with each explanation about the dildo that flowed from Dan’s lips.

“And, the third function is that it stays clean without special washing, and lastly…”

“…”

Dan gulped and I swallowed too.

Even Idelbert, who had come close enough for her thighs to touch mine, was blankly waiting for those lips to open.

“Once every two months, it can temporarily break the curse of the person who inserts the dildo into their body. Right now…”

-Whoosh!

Before Dan could finish speaking, a black form moved faster than light.

It happened in an instant. The thick and heavy object in my hand disappeared.

“Haa, haa. Haa…!”

The perpetrator of the dildo theft could be found immediately.

-Gulp.

Idelbert, who swallowed, looked at the dildo in her hand while breathing heavily.

In her trembling eyes were strong greed and bewilderment, excitement and doubt.

She hugged the dildo that looked exactly like my dick to her chest while watching her surroundings.

“Th-this. Is. M-mine.”

“Master…?”

“So-sorry, disciple. But, but. I…”

I looked at her with an uncomfortable expression, while Dan looked at her with a puzzled expression.

But I understood.

After all, the reason Idelbert picked me up and raised me in the first place was…well, that.

And now, she saw the possibility of destroying the [Curse of Rejecting Inadequate Dicks] in some dildo relic.

In a way, it was natural for her to show such a dramatic reaction.

“Um, Union Leader…anyway, it’s a bound relic, so it can’t be transferred unless the first owner allows it…”

-Pop!

With Dan’s words, the dildo escaped from her hand.

“Kuk!”

Idelbert quickly reached out to grab it, but the Dildo of Curse Breaking slipped away like a loach and came into my hand.

The dildo that met my eyes bowed its glans.

‘That’s pretty nice.’

For a moment, I felt emotions I shouldn’t feel towards a dildo.

Is it because it looks exactly like my dick? It gave me a strange sense of attachment.

At least it seemed to recognize its owner well.

The strange thing was, perhaps because the dildo and dick were linked, it felt like I was masturbating.

Holding the dildo gave me the sensation of holding my dick shaft.

Even when Idelbert was jumping around trying to grab the dildo earlier, I felt a tingling sensation.

When I thought about whether I could do something about it, the dildo trembled once and the linked sensation became fainter.

Can I control it with just my thoughts? Even the sensations?

At this rate, isn’t it basically a detachable dick? Well, at least my thing won’t get cut off…

…Right. Well. That kind of thing shouldn’t happen. Really.

“Disciple.”

Idelbert called me with a desperate voice. I could pretty much guess what she was going to say.

Since her body moved first earlier, she would probably try to persuade me slowly now.

“Master. Didn’t you say until we entered the relic storage that you wouldn’t covet relics from a place like this? How could you try to ruthlessly steal the first relic that your fragile disciple obtained through their own power?”

“Th-that… I’m sorry. But, I really didn’t know such a thing would come out! I have only seen relics with such functions a handful of times. I didn’t know that curse breaking, which even temple priests can’t easily do, would be attached to a mere relic, just a dildo…!”

In other words, Idelbert had gone crazy at the mention of curse breaking.

But this part needed to be accurately pointed out.

It wasn’t complete curse removal, but partial destruction of curses.

I rolled my eyes to look at Dan, and she hesitantly continued her explanation.

“It can’t completely remove curses. Because it’s breaking, not removal. Moreover, the breaking time probably…won’t exceed 30 minutes at most. The more powerful the curse, the lower the success rate and time will be.”

The curse breaking effect lasts no longer than 30 minutes at most.

For those carrying powerful curses like Idelbert or Diana, that time could be much shorter.

Nevertheless, this dildo’s value was considerable.

“Probably, if you point the dildo at someone, you’ll see the success rate and duration.”

“Di-disciple. Qu-quickly. St-stab me.”

Idelbert spoke with a desperate voice.

I pressed the dildo firmly against the master’s firm lower abdomen as she thrust it forward.

“Huut…”

Idelbert’s firm lower abdomen was softly pressed in by the even firmer glans, and translucent words appeared on the glans wide enough to write sentences.

[Curse Breaking Success Rate 10%. Curse Breaking Duration 27 minutes.]

As expected, quite low time and probability.

However, I, who had become the relic’s owner, instinctively realized that I could manipulate that probability.

-Woong.

As I put my will into the dildo, the success rate that appeared above it started to rise.

20%. 30%. 40%.

The breaking duration decreased as it rose, but that was fine.

50%. 60%.

It was more about whether it could be used or not, rather than the duration.

70%. 80%. 90%.

After lowering the risk of failure infinitely, what appeared before my eyes was.

[Curse Breaking Success Rate 100%. Curse Breaking Duration 3 minutes.]

In a way, it seemed like a decent number.

“…”

“Is, is there. A possibility? Hm? Disciple. Please…”

I looked at Idelbert who was pressing her lower abdomen against the glans with a desperate voice.

And suddenly, I remembered Idelbert laughing and hitting the floor with her tail and hands, asking how I got a dildo as my first relic.

“Wh-why are you suddenly looking at me with those eyes…? Hm…?”

“…”

Perhaps feeling uneasy about it, Idelbert’s eyes trembled.

In all the time I’ve been with her until now, has there ever been a time when I had such an advantage?

At least in my memory, almost never.

There were a few times when we were on equal footing by chance, but I had never been in such an overwhelmingly superior position.

I quickly recalled memories of the past flashing by.

The pain of passing out from being choked between plump and firm thighs, smelling the scent of aged leotard suit…

The numerous acts of harassment and violence carried out under the pretext of training…

And the deep shame and desire for revenge that built up in my heart each time, the shame of being defeated by a woman as a man…

“Hmm…”

“Di-disciple…?”

I crossed my arms holding the dildo and pondered deeply.

How should I treat this violent and arrogant master who doesn’t know how to care for her disciple…?